Another New Diet

My mother-in-law is on a new diet every time we see her. She’s done the all meat diet, the raw food diet, and numerous other diets, most with strange names I can’t remember because, of course, I don’t pay attention. And it isn’t for her lack of trying to educate me on her latest brilliant discovery. Each diet is a life altering transformation for her. She has to get new foods, new gadgets to prepare the food, and practically create a new lifestyle for herself that revolves around her fabulous new diet.

Fortunately for us she has made a break through and found the best diet yet. No, I think it’s the best diet ever. There's no topping this one—she can eat anything, as long as it doesn’t have a face or a mother. Yes, that is the diet.

So now I’m trying to come up with some good questions for Thanksgiving when we see her. Potatoes have eyes. Can she eat them? Technically, do vegetables have mothers? Dh says no, but I’m not quite convinced. He says that mothers have to take care of their young—so can she eat orphans? Oh wait, only if they don’t have a face. Faceless orphans would be okay then. I can see myself spitting my mashed potatoes across the table over this one. It’s gonna be fun.