I had to fill out an agricultural survey the other day for our mountain property. It was long and complex and really had nothing to do with us since we don't farm anymore. By the time I got to page two I had no idea what the survey was wanting from me. How do I classify my land? There are no crops. There are no farm animals. Fallow? We'd never actually plowed it, so that didn't seem right. I decided I'd better check with the survey takers aka The Department of Agriculture(this survey had to be filled out under threat of imprisionment so I figured I should try to get it right.) So I called the number and talked to this honey-voiced lady who seemed shocked at the fact that I didn't farm my land, and was I absolutely sure I didn't own any cattle? Really?
Apparantely if you don't use your acreage for anything but the joy and beauty of it, you are wasting it. That's right. My land is classified as wasteland. Heck--I didn't even have to fill any of the other forty pages out since I'm wasting it. They should really come take a look at what the cattle do to the land, they might have to switch their definitions. All those cows can sure ruin a place.
And while I'm talking about messed up words, here's a new swear word for ya. Precipice. That's right, you read it correctly. Precipice, as in: This agricultural survey is really precipicing me off. Hey, it works when you're nine.