I was looking through the documents on my computer today and found this. It's the opening paragraph to a query letter that my husband wrote for me after I went to a conference. It amuses me, so I thought I'd share it. Here it is in all it's glory:
Two blondes walk into a bar. The bartender says, “what can I get you two ladies?” The first blonde looks at her companion and says “I’ll have what she’s having.” A look of desperation creeps across the second blonde's face. She says, “my name is Heather Ayris Burnell, the aforementioned blondes were just to get your attention, I actually write children’s books and would like you to represent me, as my agent. Unfortunately, I was too shy to talk to you at the SCBWI WWA conference."
Then I'm supposed to tell the agent about my book. No, I didn't use this fabulous opening paragraph so kindly written just for me. I went with my nice, normal-type query letter. I still managed to get an invitation to send more work. Go figure.
AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteOh. My. Was the agent in question male or female? Because that would be a big predictor of the odds of success.
ReplyDeleteMale, of course. As you can see, Mike liked it.
ReplyDeleteHA-hahahahaa! Excellent. Your husband has a great sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteAnd congratulations on getting a request to send more work! YAY! Go, you!
That's hilarious, Heather. Good thing you went with your instincts. Ahem. I've learned to always, always, always do the OPPOSITE of what my hubby suggests.
ReplyDeleteAnd how great that the agent asked you to send more of your work. I haven't reached that point yet. But you should (technically) have an easier time getting an agent now that you have an actual, real book coming out in Sept!
Great letter!! Whatever you use I bet you'll get lots of requests!
ReplyDeleteYes, my husband is quite funny. He's started a great comedy screenplay(no I'm not just saying that because we're married). If I could just get him to finish it. Maybe this winter.
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh at what you said about doing the opposite Joanne! But I'm getting a feeling that guys actually like this letter. I have to say, I was tempted to try it because it cracked me up!
Too funny! I wouldn't have the nerve to use it either, but man, what a hoot!
ReplyDeleteHow funny!
ReplyDelete