I was looking through the documents on my computer today and found this. It's the opening paragraph to a query letter that my husband wrote for me after I went to a conference. It amuses me, so I thought I'd share it. Here it is in all it's glory:
Two blondes walk into a bar. The bartender says, “what can I get you two ladies?” The first blonde looks at her companion and says “I’ll have what she’s having.” A look of desperation creeps across the second blonde's face. She says, “my name is Heather Ayris Burnell, the aforementioned blondes were just to get your attention, I actually write children’s books and would like you to represent me, as my agent. Unfortunately, I was too shy to talk to you at the SCBWI WWA conference."
Then I'm supposed to tell the agent about my book. No, I didn't use this fabulous opening paragraph so kindly written just for me. I went with my nice, normal-type query letter. I still managed to get an invitation to send more work. Go figure.