Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Week 26: The Next Big Thing Blog Hop

I’ve been asked to participate in The Next Big Thing Blog Hop by the fabulous Cheri Williams! Cheri is the author of the book of essays, HOW TO CASTRATE YOUR MAN IN 7 SIMPLE STEPS & OTHER ODDLY GODLY EPIPHANIES, and if she thinks I might be the next big thing it makes me think it’s possible. I certainly think she’s the next big thing! Be sure to check out her out at

Ginger Kolbaba, editor of says of Cheri's book, "...don't let the title mislead you. It may be edgy, but the content is filled with timeless truth about relationships, faith, and how to grow more mature--even while using potty humor."

My picture book, BEDTIME MONSTER, a story about a little boy who turns into an actual monster, tail and all, was published a while back. But in honor of Cheri and her love of potty humor I thought I'd tell you a little about something new. So, I'm going to answer some questions about a project I’m working on now that may just be the next big thing, if you're into potty jokes, karate, and talking sloths. Hey, you never know.

What is the title of your book?

Well, I'm not sure that I should say. It's kind of weird. Plus I always feel so sketchy talking about works in progress. Ack! This is scary! I will tell you that the title has the word dumpling in it.

Where did the idea come from for the book?

I was eating dinner with my family one night and misheard something, after which ensued much laughing and joking and possibly some soup spewing out of people's mouths. Potty humor, it always goes over well at the table.

What genre does your book fall under?

It’s a humorous chapter book. I like to think that reluctant readers might dig it.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

If this manuscript was made into a book... which was then made into a movie... it could be animated or they could do it ZOOKEEPER style. Along with the humans there are a few talking animals. Okay, quite a few. I think Will Ferrell would be a good sloth. Maybe Jack Black could be the evil anaconda. The heroic red panda has a really high pitched voice so maybe Rosie Perez? I hadn’t ever thought about this before. Funny how I can come up with the people who could do the animals voices but can’t think of who could play the actual people! I know, Jada Pinkett Smith could be the mom. She’s a totally cool mom. And we'd definitely need to find a fun, and limber, grandmother to play the MC's grandma from China. She is really good at karate.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

While under attack by ninjas at their Chinese Food Restaurant, Clayton’s grandmother forces him to drink the broth of a magic dumpling, throwing him into a sinister plot by an evil anaconda whose plan is to rule the world.

Who is your publisher?

I’m not quite finished with revisions so I haven’t sent it out yet, but I’m getting close!

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Well, it’s taken a really long time because I’m easily distracted by my plethora of picture book manuscripts and I just kept rewriting the first four chapters until I could figure out an ending that would work. I’m about at the end of the revision stage now. Hooray! I think I came up with the idea about two years ago.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I just finished reading FAKE MUSTACHE by Tom Angleberger. If I could get somewhere close to that humor I would be ecstatic. That book is awesome! But I'm writing for a bit younger set. My story's more in the age range of the Adam Sharp books by George E. Stanley. I like writing for that age range.

Who or What inspired you to write this book?

My little boys and their fabulous funny bones make me want to create fun books they love. My husband and daughter even got in on this in on this one though, and they are the ones I can usually count on to poo-poo the potty talk while the boys and I are cracking up!

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

There is potty humor, ninjas, talking animals, and Chinese food. What could go wrong?

So, there you have it. Now you know about a little something I'm working on!

We're skipping a week in The Next Big Thing Blog Hop for a holiday break, but the hop will continue! Here is the list of authors who will be joining the hop for week 27 on January 2nd. I hope you’ll visit their blogs and learn more about their books. Maybe one of them will become your new favorite author!

Tiffany Strelitz Haber, author of The Monster Who Lost His Mean

Morgan Shamy, who is repped by Karen Grencik of Red Fox Literary

and last but definitely not least, my fabulous friend Branli Caidryn, author of Phoenix Splinter.


  1. This is so fun! I love your post, Heather. Crying at the synopsis of the untitled (but has 'dumpling' in the title) book! LOVE IT SO MUCH!!

  2. Thanks Tiffany! Now I'm crying to have heard that you LOVE my synopsis. *sniff

  3. Potty my honor! It just doesn't get better!! Can't wait to see it in print!!!

  4. Sounds like a romp of a good time!

  5. There was no delete button, but that's me up there with one of my old Google blogs. Sorry. :/ ~Candilynn

  6. Dear Ms. Williams

    A woman that writes "...castration doesn't require the use of power equipment or even pruning shears (although there are those that prefer them for sheer entertainment value)...." is a woman that finds such images and words funny. Now, please reverse the genders. Would ANYONE laugh if a book was published that used power tools applied to a woman's genitals as "humor"? Or would they recoil at the thought? I think that we both know the answer. Recoiling at the thought is the right thing to do, the Christian thing to do, because such deeds, even in fiction, are horrific. Yet it has become so ingrained in our culture to find humor at violence against men's genitals that blows to the genitals are routinely used as "humor" on TV and the movies, and when REAL men are tortured and mutilated, ordinary daytime women's TV shows feel perfectly comfortable mocking the victim. Please Google CBS's "The Talk" and Catherine Keau Becker if you don't believe me. You can watch the clip for yourself. They joked about all of this to an studio audience of hundreds, all laughing loudly, and to a TV audience of millions.

    The 5 hosts of The Talk spent 5 minutes mocking this man and his torture/mutilation by his wife. Those 5 hosts paid no penalty for their behavior - nope, the show continues today.

    There are actually a number of similar REAL incidents in the last few years that I can direct you to, if you wish. And the popular media, like CNN, LA Times, women's blogs etc. all joined in the mocking. I can direct you to many of these web links, too.

    How did we get to this state? The answer is that for the last 30 years, or so, it has been "acceptable" to find "humor" in doing sexual harm to men. That is why it is so common in the media. That commonality, in turn, eventually finds expression in the mocking of REAL victims of mutilation, cancer or accidents. Real human beings, openly mocked because they are victims of sexual violence or disease.

    Do women think that men are robots, utterly without feeling about jokes about mutilating or otherwise sexually harming men? Do women think that boys (children!) don't see this stuff and flinch? Don't you think they ask themselves, does my mom think that's funny? Would she laugh if I were the victim?

    The bottom line, when I read what you wrote, is that you find jokes about sexually mutilating and crippling men funny. How could you not when you so explicitly use such imagery on the books cover and in the first essay? How could you not when you openly makes jokes about it on your blog? And everyone that supports that humor is supporting a culture of contempt for men and male sexuality. YOU contribute to this culture of anti-mal sexual sadism.

    So I close with an expression of my feelings, I think that such "humor" is of the most vile, dehumanizing kind. Whenever I hear it, I think to myself, "what a sadistic bigot, I don't EVER want to know that person." Perhaps I feel too strongly. I do not know. But can you honestly say that if a man used "humor" about mutilating women's genitals, leaving them a sexual cripple, that you would not feel the same? I simply cannot see how such humor is consistent with Christianity.

    At any rate, I wish you well, but I am not a fan of you.

    Best Wishes - Doug Wells